Movie Night

The mail at our house consists mostly of grocery store fliers, a few bills, credit card applications, and the occasional letter.  But about once a week we'll receive a Netflix mailer with a new movie or television show in it. My wife and I don’t always have the same taste in entertainment, so there is usually some negotiation involved. We can usually find something we’re both interested in, but there are some film genres she simply cannot abide.

Last week saw the arrival of the new Star Trek DVD, and I couldn’t have been more excited to watch it. Her reaction, however, was less enthusiastic:

“Well, I guess tonight is Geek Night”, or something to that effect.

Well, yeah. I’m a geek, but she knew that before she married me. She didn’t mind so much back in graduate school, when she needed help with her with statistics homework. Thing is, you don’t get the Statistics Help without the Star Trek Love. It’s the Full Package. I think she understands and accepts this, up to a point, but when I asked her to watch Star Trek with me, no dice.

“C’mon. You might like it. There’s some really good looking actors in it. You know that guy who plays the villain in ‘Heroes’? He's Spock.”

Stupid me, but “Heroes” wasn’t helping my cause. She’s more the “Ugly Betty”, “Grey’s Anatomy” demographic. If only they’d cast America Ferrera as Nurse Chapel, I might have had a shot.

And Grey’s Anatomy? Now there’s a show I should like, but no. It’s set in my native Seattle, in a hospital staffed primarily with gorgeous women, and I enjoy medical dramas (ER was a mainstay with us for years).  But the vapid, soap opera melodrama just leaves me cold. Maybe if they performed all their surgeries topless, I’d watch.

This week, “Terminator Salvation” came in the mail. I’m a little worried that someday my wife will realize she can log into our Netflix account and modify the queue any time she wants to. Then it’ll be “Made of Honor” and “Julie and Julia” for me. Oh well... I wonder if Julia Child ever cooked in the nude?

Social Transitions

There was a time when I used to pride myself on my punctuality. Now I’m happy when I’m only an hour late, and with relatively few visible puke stains on my clothing. This is just one of the ways that parenthood is like being an alcoholic. Unfortunately, such tardiness has put a damper on our social lives. Movies? Plays? Drinks? Fine dining? Fuggedaboutit! (Hmm…which sounds dumber? White boys from the Pacific Northwest trying to sound like NJ Mafia or LA Gangbangers? That’s a quandary, fo’ shizzle).


These days, it’s mostly 4pm get-togethers with other parents of infants. These are folks who aren’t turned off by discussions of diaper services vs. disposables, swimming lessons, teething, and who understand that socializing must end by approximately 7pm, at which time our precious little bundles of joy turn into levitating, head-rotating, pea-soup spitting little demons.

These are good people, and I really enjoy their company. It’s just that I see myself turning into a kind of person I never wanted to be – someone incapable of carrying on a conversation about anything other than my own kid. Oh, sure, my F.W.K.s (friends without kids) are very polite, and some will even add sweet little comments to my endless stream of Facebook photo albums depicting “Baby’s Latest Bowel Movement”. But somewhere in the back of my mind I can’t help but wonder if they’re not just a little bit turned off by this new me.

And so I make it a point to try to keep up on current events and to discuss interesting adult topics with my friends whenever possible. Take the senate health care debates, for example. This is an important topic. I can’t imagine how bad off my family would be without health care insurance. Every American family should have coverage, regardless of employment status. Our daughter has her one year well baby check up tomorrow afternoon. She was at the 60th percentile for height and the 80th percentile for head circumference at her last appointment. Hopefully tomorrow she’ll hit 90th percentile. I feel sorry for all those poor tiny head babies with no health insurance. Congress needs to get their acts together.