Social Transitions

There was a time when I used to pride myself on my punctuality. Now I’m happy when I’m only an hour late, and with relatively few visible puke stains on my clothing. This is just one of the ways that parenthood is like being an alcoholic. Unfortunately, such tardiness has put a damper on our social lives. Movies? Plays? Drinks? Fine dining? Fuggedaboutit! (Hmm…which sounds dumber? White boys from the Pacific Northwest trying to sound like NJ Mafia or LA Gangbangers? That’s a quandary, fo’ shizzle).


These days, it’s mostly 4pm get-togethers with other parents of infants. These are folks who aren’t turned off by discussions of diaper services vs. disposables, swimming lessons, teething, and who understand that socializing must end by approximately 7pm, at which time our precious little bundles of joy turn into levitating, head-rotating, pea-soup spitting little demons.

These are good people, and I really enjoy their company. It’s just that I see myself turning into a kind of person I never wanted to be – someone incapable of carrying on a conversation about anything other than my own kid. Oh, sure, my F.W.K.s (friends without kids) are very polite, and some will even add sweet little comments to my endless stream of Facebook photo albums depicting “Baby’s Latest Bowel Movement”. But somewhere in the back of my mind I can’t help but wonder if they’re not just a little bit turned off by this new me.

And so I make it a point to try to keep up on current events and to discuss interesting adult topics with my friends whenever possible. Take the senate health care debates, for example. This is an important topic. I can’t imagine how bad off my family would be without health care insurance. Every American family should have coverage, regardless of employment status. Our daughter has her one year well baby check up tomorrow afternoon. She was at the 60th percentile for height and the 80th percentile for head circumference at her last appointment. Hopefully tomorrow she’ll hit 90th percentile. I feel sorry for all those poor tiny head babies with no health insurance. Congress needs to get their acts together.