Several years ago a buddy of mine mentioned, almost in passing, how for a long while after their second child was born, he and his wife had only what he called “Hallway Sex”. This is when you pass each other by in the hall and one of you yells, “F^&k you!” and the other responds with a “F&*k you, too!”
At the time, I had thought he was joking.
It’s the dirty little secret of parenthood: The little bastards suck out all your zest for life, leaving nothing but sleep-deprived, angry zombies, skilled at changing diapers one-handed in the dark, but incapable of civil discourse.
Most nights, after a day of work followed by an evening of feeding, watering, bathing, changing, putting to bed, putting back to bed, threatening, screaming, then putting to bed again, we’re exhausted. A couple glasses of wine, an episode or two of “30 Rock” on Netflix Streaming, and we're asleep by 9:00. Then up again at midnight, at 2am, 4am, then getting up for good at 5am.
Sex? Yeah, right. That’s just not in the cards, when you don’t even have enough energy to be cordial to one another.
It makes me wonder how large families can possibly exist. Nobody with that many kids can possibly be getting any action.
How do Mormons and Catholic parents do it?
About Me
- Michael Dahlin
- I work for a non-profit organization doing research in education, educational assessment, and education policy. I am married with one child , one cat, and one mortgage. All things considered, life is good.
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